The Fifth Commandment Explained
“Honour your father and your mother.” — Exodus 20:12
The Meaning of the Commandment
The Fifth Commandment marks a turning point within the Ten Commandments. The first four focus on humanity’s relationship with God, while the fifth begins the section that governs relationships with others. It forms the bridge between love for God and love for people, beginning with the family, the foundation of all society.
God declared, “Honour your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.” (Exodus 20:12). This commandment joins reverence and reward. It is not only a moral duty but also a promise: those who honour their parents will experience blessing and stability within the life God gives.
To honour means to respect, to value, and to give weight to someone’s role. This commandment therefore calls for gratitude, obedience, and care, not just during childhood but throughout life. Parents are God’s chosen means of giving life and nurturing growth. To honour them is to recognise that divine order begins at home.
The Principle of Honour
Honour is more than obedience. Obedience may fade as children mature, but honour endures. It is the lifelong recognition of the role parents play and the respect due to them. Proverbs 1:8–9 teaches this plainly: “My son, hear the instruction of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother, for they will be a graceful ornament on your head, and chains about your neck.”
Through honour, families learn stability. When respect is practised within the home, it shapes how people relate to authority, community, and God Himself. The structure of family becomes a reflection of divine order. When honour is neglected, disorder spreads outward into society.
The Apostle Paul emphasised this same truth, calling it “the first commandment with promise.” (Ephesians 6:2). He wrote, “Honour your father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:2–3). The promise of well-being is both personal and collective, families that practise respect contribute to healthy generations and stronger communities.
Honouring Parents in Different Seasons of Life
The expression of honour changes through the stages of life. For children, it means listening, learning, and obeying. For adults, it becomes gratitude, respect, and care.
During childhood, obedience trains the heart to recognise authority. Proverbs 6:20–22 instructs, “My son, keep your father’s command, and do not forsake the law of your mother. Bind them continually upon your heart, tie them around your neck. When you roam, they will lead you, when you sleep, they will keep you, and when you awake, they will speak with you.” Parental guidance shapes conscience and builds character.
In adulthood, honour continues through attitude and action. It means valuing the wisdom of one’s parents even when independence has been achieved. It also includes providing support and care in their later years. Jesus upheld this standard when He rebuked the Pharisees for using religious excuses to neglect their parents. He said, “For God commanded, saying, ‘Honour your father and your mother,’ and, ‘He who curses father or mother, let him be put to death.’ But you say, ‘Whoever says to his father or mother, “Whatever profit you might have received from me is a gift to God,” then he need not honour his father or mother.’ Thus you have made the commandment of God of no effect by your tradition.” (Matthew 15:4–6).
True honour cannot be replaced by ceremony or convenience. It is shown through genuine care, even when doing so requires sacrifice.
The Wider Meaning of Honour
While this commandment begins with parents, its principle extends to all legitimate authority. The respect learned at home becomes the foundation for respecting leaders, teachers, and governing bodies. Romans 13:1 reminds believers, “Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God.”
Honouring parents teaches humility and gratitude, qualities that influence how people relate to others. It builds the habit of recognising value in others’ roles, not because they are perfect but because God has placed order within human relationships. When respect is lost, rebellion grows, when honour is restored, peace follows.
The Challenge of Broken Relationships
Honouring parents is not always easy. Some carry memories of neglect or abuse, and for them, this commandment can feel painful. Yet even in broken relationships, the call to honour remains. Honour does not mean excusing wrongdoing or denying harm. It means choosing forgiveness, refusing bitterness, and acknowledging that life itself is a gift from God through one’s parents.
Romans 12:18 provides wise guidance: “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” Where reconciliation is possible, honour takes the form of grace and humility. Where it is not, honour is expressed through prayer, forgiveness, and personal integrity.
The commandment therefore directs every believer to pursue healing and peace, trusting that God’s justice and mercy can redeem what has been broken.
The Reward of Obedience
God’s promise attached to this commandment is unique. He said that those who honour their parents will experience long life and stability. This is not merely a guarantee of years but a picture of fulfilled living, a life blessed with harmony and purpose.
Proverbs 3:1–2 captures this beautifully: “My son, do not forget my law, but let your heart keep my commands, for length of days and long life and peace they will add to you.” Honour builds the kind of character that sustains peace across generations. Where families practise it, nations are strengthened, where it is lost, societies weaken.
Thus, honouring parents becomes a way of honouring God. It is not limited to the family home but extends to the heart of moral life itself.
Living the Commandment
To live this commandment is to treat family relationships as sacred trust. It means speaking with respect, listening with patience, and caring with compassion. It also means teaching future generations by example.
In a culture that often celebrates independence and self-interest, this commandment restores balance. It reminds each person that gratitude and humility are the roots of wisdom. By honouring those who gave us life, we honour the One who gives life to all.
Even for those without living parents, the principle remains powerful. We can show honour through the way we speak about our families, through how we mentor others, and through how we uphold respect in community life. The Fifth Commandment is not about hierarchy but about humility, learning to value others rightly because we value God rightly.
Summary
The Fifth Commandment calls every person to honour father and mother as a reflection of God’s order and love. It teaches that respect within the family builds the foundation for peace in society. It acknowledges that life is a gift and that gratitude to parents is gratitude to God.
To keep this commandment is to strengthen relationships, to nurture gratitude, and to live with humility. It promises blessing not as a transaction but as a natural result of harmony. When honour is practised in the home, it flows outward into every part of life, shaping character, restoring peace, and reflecting the goodness of God.
Scripture References
Exodus 20:12 – “Honour your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.”
Proverbs 1:8–9 – “My son, hear the instruction of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother, for they will be a graceful ornament on your head, and chains about your neck.”
Ephesians 6:2–3 – “Honour your father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”
Proverbs 6:20–22 – “My son, keep your father’s command, and do not forsake the law of your mother. Bind them continually upon your heart, tie them around your neck. When you roam, they will lead you, when you sleep, they will keep you, and when you awake, they will speak with you.”
Matthew 15:4–6 – “For God commanded, saying, ‘Honour your father and your mother,’ and, ‘He who curses father or mother, let him be put to death.’ But you say, ‘Whoever says to his father or mother, “Whatever profit you might have received from me is a gift to God,” then he need not honour his father or mother.’ Thus you have made the commandment of God of no effect by your tradition.”
Romans 13:1 – “Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God.”
Romans 12:18 – “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.”
Proverbs 3:1–2 – “My son, do not forget my law, but let your heart keep my commands, for length of days and long life and peace they will add to you.”
